Original Goal... I did it!



I hit goal once... I CAN do it again!

Wednesday, May 19, 2010

Why?

I am VERY upset with myself! I have never really thought of myself as an emotional eater. Today proved that very wrong! To start my day, my husband and I received a call that a very good friend of ours had passed away in his sleep last night. He was 40. He had some heart issues recently and had had bypass surgery on this past Saturday. He was doing well after the surgery and progosis was good. Then the unthinkable happens without warning.
So what do I do? I ordered food from the mexican restaurant and ate it, then I went to the bakery and ordered 6 cookies and ate them too! I have been doing so well on my eating and do not understand what has triggered me so...
I am hopeful that this death of a young friend will make my husband understand my push to eat better, but why would he listen to me if I drown my sorrows in mexican food and cookies?

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14 comments:

LDswims said...

I am so sorry to hear about your friend. How horrible! To think he had a good prognosis and then...

Please don't be too hard on yourself. I believe that it's ok to turn to food so long as you understand why. Did those cookies give you a brief glimpse of being able to appreciate life? Did the Mexican food remind you that you have a lot of good reasons to live? See the situation for what it is but do not feel guilty about it or be upset with yourself. You haven't done anything wrong. In fact, you've shown awareness and comprehension. You can't be a perfect eater 100% of the time. No one is - skinny person or otherwise - and you will only let yourself down by trying too hard.

Jennifer said...

I'm sorry for your loss Heather. Food is a great numbing agent. I'm guilty of it too. I like what Lori said. At least you recognize it. That's the first step.

Ellen said...

I'm so very sorry for the loss of your friend. I only recognized that I was an emotional eater a few months ago. I agree with the others, at least you have now recognized it and now you can learn from it, but no need to beat yourself up about it, it's all part of your journey.

Bonnie said...

It is so hard on so many levels to lose a friend. If you are not an emotional eater, maybe the reflex of turning to food was more of making you feel alive. Don't beat yourself up.

amandakiska said...

I'm so sorry about your friend. How horrible! But really, what is more life-affirming than a delicious meal? I hope you let yourself enjoy it.

Sandy Lee said...

I am so sorry. {{{HUGS}}}. I discovered after a bad day yesterday that we use food to numb the pain. It is going to get better, so give yourself a break. It's going to take some time to figure this all out. Until then don't beat yourself up. And I am truly sorry for your loss. Hope you know we care.

MandaPanda said...

My condolences on the loss of your friend. Please don't be too upset over the food. If it's only the truly horrible things in life that you make you turn to food, you're already doing better than me. Hang in there!

workinprogress said...

*hugs* Please don't be so hard on yourself. We are human and you had terrible news.

I can't promise you that the band will give you total control over 'head' hunger or emotional eating but it will certainly make it easier.

I'm so sorry for your loss.

Gwen said...

What heartbreaking news! Let yourself grieve and don't feel poorly about it. Now that you've recognized the choice of food as a coping mechanism you can help your band help you through next time. It sounds like you really needed it today, made the conscious decision and got what you needed out of it - nothing to be ashamed of.

Drazil said...

Oh sweetie I'm so sorry about your loss....please be gentle with yourself during this time. You have to un-learn what you've always done and that won't happen overnight but you recognized it and that's a big step. Take care.

Cindylew said...

I'm sorry for your loss.
Be kind to yourself during this trying time. Soothing ourselves with food is what we know and when we know better, we'll do better.

TnT said...

I'm so sorry for your loss. That totally sucks (for lack of a better phrase). Cut yourself some slack with the eating, you did it, you recognized it, and now it's time to get back on the horse. *hugs* to you and again, I'm so sorry.

Butterfly/Amy said...

Heather, I am so sorry to hear you've lost a friend. Losing a friend at such a young age is hard no matter the circumstances. As far as your emotional eating, you acknowledged it and that's the most important thing. Now learning to find other ways to cope is your next challenge. Give yourself time to grieve but instead of indulging in cookies and mexican, blog or write a letter to your friend that you can tuck away or share with someone, whichever would be best for you. Obviously these are just ideas, each of us grieves in different ways. Hang in there.

I can do this.....finally said...

I am so sorry for the loss of your friend. Please do not beat yourself up. My prayers are with you and your friends family.

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