Well I finally made it in to my surgeons office. I told him what was going on with the tightness and he asks why I didn't come in sooner! Well why is simple... I haven't had the time. He is only in the office that is one hour away from me one day every other week. Mix that in with the holidays and my current family situation and yeah right that is happening! Anyway, back to my conversation with him. He was very interested in my tightness that was brought on by stress. I told him that we made it through the beginning when my band slammed shut by my PCP prescribing Xanax. It seemed to calm me down enough to open up my band so that I could eat. My surgeon was amazed by this as he said he never thought of it! Interesting as he has been doing this for quite some time. Well I can't stay on Xanax forever so some unfill was in order. My surgeon still thought that maybe I was eating too fast or something. HELLO>>> I AM TELLING YOU THAT I AM SERIOUSLY UNCOMFORTABLE AND NEED RELIEF NOW AND HAVE BEEN DEALING WITH THIS FOR MORE THAN AN MONTH... DO YOU THINK THAT I HAVEN'T TRIED THAT!?? I had a fill just days before my brother passed so my thought is that I just never got adjusted to it.
Anyway he finally tells me that he will take out the fill that he put in last time. 1.0 cc. OK, good. Now I am wondering... What is the green zone? Does anyone really know what it feels like? Maybe I was there and the last fill put me over the edge? I have 6.5 cc now.
My surgeon didn't make me another appointment. He told me to call when I felt I needed a fill. Great! Then he says something that really gets me. He said that where I am on weight now 145 lbs is where most people my height would stop and say that they are fine. I am not fine. I need to lose 20 more lbs to not be overweight anymore. He said that I have surpassed all weightloss goals in the 7 months since I have had my band. He said that I would still lose, but just that this is where most of his patients are comfortable. NOT ME! So I guess I call when I need a fill and go on with my life. I hope that this exercise bug remains!!!!!!
So on the way home, I hadn't eaten anything all day and it was now 2pm. I had a protein shake for breakfast. I am getting a little hungry. I think of what in the world I could eat and drive. Nothing came to mind, so I went to McDonalds (I know, I know). I was going to get a snack size mcflurry as I could go slow and possibly make it home without PB. Anyway I get to the order and something makes me change my mind. I order a McDouble with the bun... I slowly eat half of it. I am full, but no PB. Does this mean that I could possibly eat somewhat like a normal human? I only eat the half. I take that as a victory. And I am reminded that McD is nasty... Oh well it was an experiment anyway. I hope I am not too loose!
On other news, My husband received the District Award of Merit from the Boys Scouts last night. It was a wonderful evening. Food was served and I wasn't scared of PBing after this afternoons adventures. That was an awesome feeling because I haven't been able to eat in public for a while. Served to us was fried chicken, mashed potatoes with white gravy, corn, and rolls. OMG carb city! I ate very little without pain and was satisfied. Maybe this is the green zone and I didn't know it last time?