I just realized something.

I was cleaning in my office today.  We are housed in an old doctor's office, so each office has a whole bank of cabinets and a countertop.  Most offices (not mine) also have a sink.  The downside to having all of this cabinet space is that I practically live in my office.  As I was going through the cabinets, I found a stack of papers.  These papers had not been in there long, but I had just stuck them there for lack of a better place to put them.  Anyway, I took a good look at them.  They were a copy of all of my medical records that I obtained when I was gaining approval for my lap band surgery.  I guess I was just so worried about getting those papers to my surgeon, that I just copied them, and sent them on their merry way.  Maybe they didn't mean much then.  I don't know. 

I sat down and looked at them and there were two pages that showed my vitals including weight each time that I went the doctor since 2002.  All of these start about the time that I had my gall bladder surgery.  I have blamed a lot of my weight gain on that gall bladder surgery.  After I had the surgery, my pcp told me that I should expect to gain about 25lbs.  Within the year after that surgery, I gained 40lbs.  I made excuse after excuse about my weight.  All about the gall bladder surgery.  Amazing how we don't try to see what is really going on.  The year of the 40 lb gain was also the year right before my husband and I divorced.   Maybe me feeling bad about that 40lbs led to some of the marital problems we were having.  I also realized that I weigh 13 lbs less than I did at the weight that I balanced out at in 2003.  I weighed 183 for 5 years until 2008 when I got pregnant with my daughter and went up to 210 after I had her. 

I am so thankful for my lap band for giving me hope again to move downward on the scale and upward on my mood.  I can't even believe my luck when I realized that I was that much below where I had been for so many years.  It makes a lot of sense looking back now.  I had so many size 16 pants and xl shirts.  I guess that is what I wore for so long.  I got up to 18w and 2xl at my largest.  I am now in 14 and some 12 pants and large shirts.  The clothing size just amazes me as I had just reserved myself that I was going to be a 16 forever. 

I still have a ways to go to goal, but I feel like the victories come at the times when you most need them!!